31st October 2017
So I’ve neglected my fitness challenge. I haven’t done it since last Thursday. I really value all of the positive posters out there, advertising and encouraging motivational tips and information on the benefits of exercise and being healthy. But my biggest issue has always been consistency – going to the gym over a long period of time, maintaining a healthy diet, not letting your mind and your emotions get the better of you. When I’m demotivated, I don’t want to exercise and I don’t want to motivate myself either, it’s as though I don’t want a healthy lifestyle enough. I know the benefits of exercising, but what if the enthusiasm just isn’t there? This is the reality of life – our minds contain so many hurdles and barriers preventing us from doing well at being healthy.
I just can’t find a routine that works for me. If I don’t rigidly stick to the gym 3 times a week, it throws me off and I start to get lazy. If I just do yoga, I feel like I’m not doing enough and I get more self-conscious about my body image. Results comes with so much time – it would probably take about a year of hardcore consistency for me to get the results I want. I hate the idea of going home and my mum noticing that I’ve put a bit of weight on again, like last year. But I get bored. The gym doesn’t motivate me anymore – nothing motivates me consistently. I noted down my days exercised, including yoga, and that only motivated me for about 2 weeks and I haven’t continued it since. I cancelled my gym membership today both out of fear regarding finance, and because I just don’t have the passion for it. I’ve neglected my food diary.
I think my biggest problem with my exercise routine is my perfectionist mindset. I never achieve perfection, so I feel I’m never doing enough, achieving enough, and I’m hard on myself. Maybe I need to set more realistic goals, or exercises. Maybe continue the challenge, and do more yoga. I’m always saying to myself I want to do yoga more, but why do I never achieve that? It’s really frustrating. I’m not trying to be pessimistic and put a downer on things, I’m just presenting the realities. We do struggle sometimes, and it is hard. I don’t know how people out there get themselves to the gym every day, or consistently over months and years! Surely it can’t just be vanity and visual reasons that drive them?
Eurghhhhhhhhhhhhh. I’m on my period. Everything aches.