2nd January 2018
I don’t usually set new year resolutions and I don’t get motivated by it, but I can’t avoid the fact that this year is an important year. My degree will come to an end and things will change for me. I may attend lots of interviews..I may not reach that stage..I may be successful..I may end up doing something I was hoping I wouldn’t be doing..I may get a proper job for the first time and save some money..
I need to think about the few things I could take advantage of to help cope with all the pressure. I applied for two graduate programmes today, neither of which I know are for me which adds to the confusion. I have two exams coming up which I can’t forget about. So how will I manage all of this uncertainty and stress this year?
Make use of my support networks.
I’ll reach out to my sister more, particularly when I know she would help. Perhaps I’ve got an interview and I’m bricking it- I know she’d give me the pep talk that I need, so I should take advantage of that more. I have a best friend who is always there for me, I could be more open with him about what’s on my mind, even if it isn’t in person and it might not feel like the right time. I’ll continue to be honest with my parents if I’m not feeling great.
Do more yoga. Regular yoga.
I’ve started Yoga with Adrienne’s latest 30 day yoga challenge today – and hallejujah that she exists and provides such wonderful videos for free. What’s better is that an online platform has been created for like minded people on the same journey who can come together and share their experiences and thoughts during the challenge. What a great way to motivate me to continue doing yoga. I’ll try and challenge the thought in my head that tries to tell me not to do yoga when I probably need it the most. I’ll try and hop on the mat instead of moping under my covers..even though that does help sometimes..
I will write in my CBT journal every day
So I got a CBT journal for christmas. I’m not currently doing CBT- I don’t think I’m ready to be challenged, but the journal offers a thinking point for 12 weeks and a space for you to write down your thoughts. I’ve done day 1 but have avoided revisiting it for day 2 because it looks a bit complex. But I should think about scheduling it in, and saving a specific time to sit down and do it, otherwise I’ll probably forget about it and just say “I’ll do it tomorrow”. It could be some important time for reflection that I need this year, what with all the stress and pressure of being a final year student.
I’ll continue to be mindful of whether opportunities are right for me.
We all know how job opportunities, advertisements and courses are set out to us.. it’ll change our lives, it will be our best decision ever, there are so many benefits to it. I have to learn to look past that and realise that actually, working with beneficiaries may not be for me. A management graduate programme may be too triggering for me. Maybe I’m not the right fit for a job in intelligence. And that’s okay. I remember applying for a job last year, getting it, starting it, thinking it was going to be amazing, and then realising very quickly that there were so many problems they hide from you when you’re a newbie. I should learn to not be as perfectionist about jobs, and that in reality, every job will have its challenges, and I have to try and prepare for that, and learn to say no to something which isn’t right for me. I woke up this morning receiving an email which told me I didn’t even get past an online test for a role in intelligence – my performance was appalling and it set off a lot of anxious thoughts about my other applications. It’s such a tough world, and it’s okay to be effected, but I should learn to not be so hard on myself.
I could blog more.
I worry about my blog posts becoming too honest and consequently coming across as pessimistic and depressing. But sometimes real life is like that. I don’t want to lose touch with that. I have to remember that I’m blogging for myself, to allow myself an outlet to express myself, and that if one person finds it useful, that’s a bonus. Perhaps I should do more journalling on here, writing honestly about how I really feel. Sorry in advance ;).
So that’s something for me to think about. What will you do this year to take care of your wellbeing? Perhaps it’s a small thing, like use eye masks more often, have a bath in the evening, or more psychological aims like be more positive. I think it’s often the little pleasures in life that can make the most difference, so lets think about that.
And here’s to hoping my future will be bright.