14th January 2017
It feels weird writing on here, it’s been about two weeks since I’ve written a blog post. I thought I’d check in and think about how I’ve been and what I’ve been up to.
I’m doing a yoga challenge!
Yoga with Adrienne is a yoga instructor on youtube and on the 1st January made a really fun 30 day challenge, with a new video uploaded every day. What’s even better is that they created an online community for people doing the challenge to go on and support one another. The forum is so encouraging, positive, and enlightening. I’m really learning to see yoga in a different way – not simply a physical practice to get through but also a space to be mindful and grateful. The support has been phenomenal and it has really made me happy.
I’ve made the first step to getting more psychological support.
I finally realised that perhaps it’s best to reach out and not delay support any further, and particularly this has been triggered by my heightened level of anxiety lately. I filled out an online form for therapy in my area and I did get a call back the next day but I haven’t yet rang them back. I plan to probably do that tomorrow – but I always have to psyche myself up to make a phonecall so it isn’t always the easiest step for me. I’m also re-considering the medication I’m on and whether it really is helping my anxiety. I need to book another appointment with my nurse and discuss this although my medication runs out in about a week and she’s likely to be fully booked so I’ll probably arrange a last minute telephone appointment for now and discuss it next time. This is so hard for me..but it’s a step.
I faced my demons and started a short term job at Uni.
I attended the launch, as mentioned before, for a mentoring position but I was brought in as back up to do a role at my Uni whereby I’d call graduates to ask them a few questions about their career and where they’ve ended up. Because of this I decided to prioritise that and back out of the mentoring position – I worried that by doing both I’d take on too much responsibility which would take me away from Uni, and would make my anxiety worse. I found training really tedious, it’s a repetitive and essentially a cold call role which isn’t down my street, but I wanted to challenge myself and earn some money. I really struggled after the training – I had a half hour break before my first shift started. I was so anxious, everyone around me made me feel trapped and I had a headache. I was fighting a voice telling me to back out and go home but, a miracle happened..I turned up. I was really hot throughout and I was really scared when making my first few calls but I did get in to the swing of it.
It’s exam time..
I have an exam tomorrow, and on the 25th. I feel somewhat disheartened as I’ve had 3 results back for assignments this term and they’ve all been 2:1’s and not firsts which I had before. Theyre between 60 and 70% which I’m disappointed by but to be honest as long as I get a 2:1 overall I’m happy. I’m really bored with Uni – going over the same topic so many times for revision makes it the most tedious thing, and I’m a little nervous about time management and my handwriting! I’m not looking forward to my exam on the 25th but it’ll be nice once those are over.